otherness: (☓ when i thought i fought this war alone)
XIII. ❛ROXAS❜ ([personal profile] otherness) wrote2014-08-11 12:37 am

• application for saudade_rpg •



PLAYER
NAME: Saffy
EMAIL: jerkbender[@]gmail.com
PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/her
BEST CONTACT: AIM: heroic bsod; PLURK: fonfabre
TIMEZONE: Pacific Standard Time (GMT-8)
AGE: 25
PLAYED CHARACTERS: Hiccup ([personal profile] gestured)
LINK TO RESERVE: [NOBODY INTENSIFIES]

CHARACTER
NAME(S): Roxas
CANON: Kingdom Hearts
AGE: Physically/mentally 15, chronologically somewhere around 2-3 years old due to his time in Exsilium, but canon is very vague about this.
BACKGROUND HISTORY:
[Dat Wiki.]

Roxas was born when Sora stabbed himself with a keyblade specifically made to unlock the darkness of people's hearts. It's hinted that Ven's heart ran along with him, and that might be why he has emotions. Anyway, he was of special interest to the Organization because, unlike Naminé, Roxas showed aptitude with a keyblade. This meant that if their plan to use Sora fell through, they could have Roxas, and therefore a chance at completing Kingdom Hearts. This wasn't the only reason, though. It's stated in Dream Drop Distance that Roxas was supposed to be a vessel for Xehanort.

Roxas had no idea about what was planned for him, though. After being given a new name and a purpose, he stumbled his way through his first year of life. He made friends with Axel, who couldn't really resist the kid he was supposed to mentor, as well as Xion, another new member of the Organization who could use the keyblade. Unfortunately, Roxas also had a lot of questions. It all came to a head after Xion's last departure from the Organization. Roxas followed, tired of being jerked around like he was a puppet, too.

After being forced to kill Xion-- they could not coexist-- Roxas became angry and ruthless. Though his memories of her faded quickly, his goals did not. He was set on freeing Kingdom Hearts and finding Sora. If he got rid of that mass of floating hearts, there was a chance that he could bring Xion back, or so he thought. Unfortunately, it was time to wake Sora up and DiZ was out of patience. He sent Riku to fetch Roxas. They fought-- unnecessarily, save for Roxas' shitty attitude-- and Roxas won, so Riku turned into Ansem's Heartless in order to overpower him.

Roxas was thrown into a Digital Twilight Town while Naminé put together the last of Sora's memories. Realizing that he had no other choice but to go along with Sora, Roxas gave in and reunited with Sora, bringing him back to consciousness so he could kick some Organization ass. Roxas dueled him and lost but he seemed pleased, and later merged into Sora properly.

After defeating Xemnas and blowing the snot out of Kingdom Hearts, it was time for Sora to take his mastery test, along with Riku. Roxas appeared near the end when Sora was lost in The World That Never Was. Sora insisted that Roxas wasn't him, that he deserved to live as a separate person. Roxas was heartened by this, and finally gave the confused keyblade wielder memories of his life before reuniting with Sora, so that he had an idea of just how terrible things really were. He's a great other self, really.

GAME HISTORY:
[A list of most of Roxas' threads.]

Roxas spent July 2013-March 2014 in [community profile] exsilium.

Roxas' original canon point was close to the end of Day 352, when they met on the clock tower and had ice cream and wondered about running away from the Organization. Sort of a pipe dream. Anyway, this framed several meetings in an odd light, because Riku was from KH3D and Axel was-- well, Axel. So, from the beginning, Roxas was being kept in the dark about a lot of things. He spent some time with Xion, mostly things like getting vaccinated and bumming around Axel's apartment. Despite being forced into a horrible post-apocalyptic war, Roxas didn't get too personally involved. He was mostly happy to be away from the Organization, finally, and spend time with his friends.

Then, he disappeared for a couple days because of a canon update, and that set a couple things into motion. He forgot Xion, but still remembered her in the context of the time they spent in Exsilium, so he knew something was weird. He also remembered who Riku was, and a lot of the things that had happened in KH2 that he'd witnessed personally or through Sora's eyes. Sora showed up not too long afterward and declared rather casually that Roxas was his own person, which would lay the groundwork for some important conversations later on. Axel, however, was nowhere to be found.

Around this time, the town he'd lived in for a couple months got nuked from orbit by the bad guys. Roxas has some lingering guilt about this because he was entirely helpless and a whole lot of innocent people died. However, he kept up hope they'd be able to go back and change things. He kept himself busy by going on a mission with Sora, and they got accustomed to working side by side.

Then Axel/Lea came back! While Roxas and Xion were dealing with a horrible zombie infestation on the moon, Lea saved their butts and revealed, by accident, that he was now a keyblade wielder. Roxas also talked to Riku and buried the hatchet, and Lea eventually brought up that he was trying to figure out a relationship thing with Riku, to which Roxas responded: "It doesn't matter who you're friends with as long as you're happy." He still didn't completely understand the concept of like, being in love, but whatever, he could sorta get it.

Xion returned to her world, though, which also left Roxas with a lot of unanswered questions and anger. Talking with Lea not only had Roxas crying openly, but also revealed a bit about her existence inside Sora's heart, and her status as a replica.

Then, through some time travel shenanigans, Exsilium reappeared on the planet. Roxas went back down there and had lots of fun learning how to be a kid, throwing snowballs at Lea and eventually moving into a little house with Sora, Riku, and Lea. And their cat. He and Sora also talked about Xion a bit and came to some very important conclusions about their existences. A month or so later, Naminé arrived, and they got to meet again. Roxas made her cry because he said he wasn't mad at her for anything, so that was hilarious and awkward for him.

Roxas confided to Lea in an important private conversation that he didn't want to go back to sleeping inside Sora, if at all possible, which was the culmination of his character development. He would later pack up his stuff when Exsilium was finally free of the Initiative and United Earth's control, and decide to follow Sora and the others, hoping he'd retain his own body. If not, he had already stated several times that he trusted Sora and intended to help him fix it all.

PERSONALITY:

At first glance, Roxas tends to be a little quieter and lets others dominate the conversation. He is not sunny and outgoing like his counterpart, more accustomed to letting others take the lead. He's also not above being a bit of a smartass. Spacy as he might be, Roxas is decent at recon and he knows how to work through puzzles on his own. He's no genius, but he applies himself to tasks with enviable diligence. It's something that the Organization likes to see in an employee, and is remarked on at least once by one of his superiors.

As it turns out, Roxas has a stubborn streak a mile long and he doesn't give up on things very easily. With the right amount of encouragement, he can go far beyond what's expected of him. And while he can get very gloomy while remembering the past, he also has a strangely optimistic view of the future, possibly because his future involves a lot of ice cream. There are some key differences, however, that lend him a 'darkness' that his other self completely lacks.

The most notable thing is anger. Roxas isn't really an angry person; he's even reasonable most of the time. He tries to keep his view of people as objective as possible (at first). He says his please-and-thank-you's. But mess with him or his friends, or compound his life with secrets, and he will unleash a Keyblade Master's dark fury like nothing else. This combined with his determined streak makes him a formidable opponent and a force to be reckoned with. When he gets that angry he thinks of nothing but getting rid of it. DiZ also picks up on this, telling Roxas to 'share some of that anger with Sora'. As one would expect, he doesn't react too kindly to this information.

With his memories gone, there are several concepts that Roxas doesn't understand. Experiencing them for himself gives him a childlike innocence and curiosity about otherwise normal things: laughter, hanging out with friends, and going to the beach, to name a few. It's like he's learned how to live backwards and wants to return to the basics. Call it naivete, but Roxas is eager to believe in appearances; if a friend lies to him, he won't question it or push the issue unless he has a reason to be concerned.

Sora accepts his role as hero but Roxas is more proactive, poking and prodding at the things he finds out to see if they're true, and never taking responsibility without questioning it. He completes tasks for the Organization but he does it while wondering about the why, and the questions he asks don't always have easy answers. Eventually, he rebels hard against the fate forced on him. Not knowing everything goads him on even when he could turn back and live in ignorance. It's just not him.

Though Nobodies aren't supposed to have hearts or feelings, Roxas has a strong conscience and empathy. Several times during the course of Days, he has to choose between doing the right thing and focusing on his mission. It obviously bothers him to walk away from people in need; later on when he's unsupervised, he has no problems ditching his mission to help someone he owes favors. He is honest and straightforward and it bothers him when people are not. Not only is it theorized that he carried Ven's heart during his time apart from Sora, but Nobodies themselves do have emotions, as mentioned in KH3D.

He is motivated to find the truth of things, but his friends are the reason. He wants to find the truth to free Xion, to find Axel, to do whatever he can for the people he loves. They are what drives him. Even in the absence of Xion, Roxas clings to her last request. He will stop at nothing to fulfill Xion's wishes and get her back. Considering how depressed he was when Axel left, he would do anything for him, too. It's not a stretch to imagine that he's afraid of being left alone. He writes in his journal about eating ice cream by himself. It doesn't taste the same and it makes him feel empty and uneasy.

Roxas doesn't really understand how to see himself except by looking at other people. His world is very small and selective due to the Organization. When Xion is branded as a puppet, he wonders if he's a puppet, too. This constant comparison is kind of sad and it makes it difficult for him to resolve his personal identity. Later on, people call him Sora's Nobody, but he doesn't seem able to accept it until he meets his other self in person. Even then, Roxas feels like he has to test Sora to make sure he's strong enough to carry the lives of Xion and Roxas and everyone else. That's when he finds peace and acceptance in his fate. His subsequent appearances are rather quiet, more true to his nature in Days.

Roxas is Sora's Nobody. Though they have differing personalities and experiences, they are two halves of the same coin. Roxas is the darker half, like a sunset, and Sora is the sunrise covering everything. Roxas' vengeance becomes Sora's, just as Sora's awkwardness and honesty became Roxas' long ago. However, Roxas has his own memories and experiences, and so does Sora. Though they are bonded, Sora believes Roxas should be his own person and Roxas is finally starting to believe that, too.

Of course, it took quite a lot to convince him. When Roxas was sure of himself, sure of his place in the world, it was because of his friends. But when things started happening to his friends, it threw his entire existence into question. After some isolation and intense brainwashing (thanks DiZ), Roxas had to come to terms with the fact that he was a part of Sora and he had to 'end' for things to get better. His gesture of sharing his experiences with Sora in KH3D is the ultimate sign of trust, when he held back before. He wants Sora to know the truth, wants him to feel what he felt.

Ironically, if this was supposed to make Sora believe he and Roxas were the same, it backfired. Sora realized that Roxas needed to be his own person and he continued to tell Roxas that in Exsilium. They worked together side by side. They co-existed, and got to know each other more than just seeing things through each other's eyes. Sora, with his incredible, unconditional acceptance managed to make Roxas understand that they were connected, but not the same. Sora also made sure that Roxas understood things weren't his fault; Roxas had developed a tendency to blame himself for things because he thought being separated from Sora was bad.

But Sora demonstrated time and time again, along with Lea and Riku, that he worried about Roxas' well-being. That awakened a certain loyalty within Roxas that's hard to describe. While he had faith in Sora before ("it has to be you"), he seemed to disregard Sora's opinion and would just go along with it to make him feel better. But now, he truly believes in his other half, understanding that he is valued as a person and not a part of someone else.

Obviously, Lea was a huge part of this as well. When Roxas was at his most vulnerable, Lea reminded him of a promise he made to his friends, and answered at least a couple of the questions he had about Xion's existence. Roxas still doesn't know a lot, being only two years old at most, and he is primarily motivated by those he cares about. Working through his thoughts is important to maintaining any sense of self-identity, as well.

In the end, his time spent with his friends and his experiences in Exsilium gave him the courage to look for an option that wasn't originally on the table. While he could accept sleeping inside of Sora forever at first, he slowly came to see himself as someone worth caring about, someone and not something. While he can count on Sora and the others to find a way to save Roxas and Xion and all the other people who need Sora's help, he would rather be helping.

Roxas is still working on the whole 'person' thing. He retains his sense of curiosity and occasionally cranky teenager tongue, but he's also more grounded in a way that he wasn't in his brief appearance in KH3D. He's lived and seen some harsh things, but he's still fairly sheltered, because those things take context to understand and he's only ever really known war. The bits of him that seem more mature are really the saddest parts. Is growing up acceptance of the things you can't change? Or did he just give up?

He's not giving up now. Whatever happens from now on, he has stated that he has his own dreams, that he wants to live his life being friends with Sora and the rest, and seeing it all with his own eyes. He is a part of Sora, but he is not a replacement, and Roxas certainly cannot be replaced.

CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS:
Sora: Sora is Roxas' other. It's a bond that can't really be explained. Roxas has always been connected to him, seen his memories in flashes-- but he doesn't remember being Sora, and that makes Roxas different from the rest of the Organization. Sora insists that Roxas deserves a chance to be his own person, and Roxas is slowly, slowly starting to believe him.
Xion: Xion was Roxas' best friend along with Axel during his time with the Organization, but he lost his memories of her when she was destroyed. He remembers they were friends in Exsilium, though, and he knows she's sleeping in Sora's heart somewhere, and that she's a replica. However, he isn't entirely clear on why, exactly, she had to die. They were sort of like siblings, with Roxas showing her the ropes and treating her a bit like a little sister. Finding out how to rescue her from her awful fate is just one thing that drives Roxas toward independence.
Axel/Lea: Axel was Roxas' babysitter at first, and then things got real. Roxas depended on him a lot mentally, as he was the first friend he ever made, tried to emulate him in certain things. Roxas also saw him die for Sora-- for him. As Lea, he continued to be a wonderful and stabilizing presence, taking care of Roxas when he didn't always know how to handle things. As for the big fight they had when Roxas left-- he forgave him a long time ago. They will always, always be cherished partners.
Riku: At first, their relationship was rocky. Riku was the person Xion went to and confided in, instead of her friends Axel and Roxas. Roxas was worried for her safety and maybe a teeny bit jealous. Obviously he got over it, but then Riku kicked his ass and led directly to his returning to Sora. Riku feels bad about that, but Roxas has already forgiven him, knowing he had to do what he... had to do. It had to be Sora, after all. Roxas doesn't really care that Lea and Riku are a 'different category of best friends'. If they get along, that's great.
Naminé: Roxas didn't get to know her too well in that short week, but he understands that Naminé is basically like him: a Nobody, but not actually a replacement for their Somebody. She may have ended up hurting Xion and Roxas with her actions, but Roxas doesn't hold it against her. DiZ was obviously controlling her. He is looking forward to meeting her again, when they have this whole heart-baby thing sorted out.
Saix: Saix was Roxas' superior in the Organization, and a huge jerk. Seriously. He never gave Roxas a break, and he was so disrespectful of Xion that Roxas wanted to behead him right then and there. Roxas, uh, doesn't really know that Saix and Axel were bffs in a previous life. It might be better that way, since Roxas beat the snot out of him and Sora finished him off.
Xigbar: Xigbar was always kind of odd. On one hand, he seemed to treat Roxas as a sort of student, but not as much as Axel. As it turned out, Roxas' appearance reminded him of someone. And he knew who and what Xion was the entire time. Roxas... was not very happy with him at the end of things.
Xemnas: A liar. Used Roxas and Xion, and the keyblade, for his own ends. Roxas hates him and what he stands for. Sora hates him for lying about the no hearts thing. Killing him felt really, really good, but then he keeps coming back. Roxas honestly hasn't thought about him in a while, though.
Hayner, Pence, & Olette: Roxas had an entire fake life that revolved around having them as friends. Hayner was a sort of rival/leader, Pence was the awkward nice nerd kid, and Olette was the alarmingly girlish tomboy. They were his friends for a little while. But it was fake, and they know Sora... not him. Still, he has some awkward attachment, and he started crying when Sora left Twilight Town for the first time because of it.
Kairi: Roxas actually spoke to her in his heart (Sora's heart?) while trying to sort out the weird things he was seeing, remembering, as Sora started to wake up. He knows her as "that girl he likes". Which is true. He's met her before, sort of, while coming to terms with things at the end of KH2... but he'd actually like to, you know, spend time with her and learn things about Sora and his friends as kids.

Roxas didn't have any significant cross-canon CR in Exsilium, despite staying in Axel's room for a while. Since I played Sheena, I avoided them interacting completely.

STRENGTH OF HEART MOMENT SUMMARY: I am choosing the moment Roxas takes the Transporter home. He has his own body now, and he could have existed just fine on Exsilium, but all of his friends had their duties to go back to. By returning to the Kingdom Hearts universe and his timeline, he's accepting what could happen (returning to Sora) but also allowing the opportunity for change (being beside him, power fluctuations and all). This, right here, is the apex of his character arc in Exsilium: he has found a reason to exist, to want to exist, and he trusts his friends to come back for him if he goes back to sleeping within Sora.

Unfortunately, I don't have a thread for this since the Exsilium mods dropped endgame pretty freaking hard.

POWERS
SAMPLE - THE AWAKENING:

By now, Roxas was well-acquainted with the darkness. He'd taken many corridors during his brief time with the Organization (though it felt like a lifetime, and it was most of his life). He'd lost that power after reuniting with Sora, and even if he had retained it, he wouldn't dare risk Sora's heart. If what the Initiative had done was split Sora in half, like he thought, then that meant he had to guard this little piece of Sora's heart with all his being.

Xion was in there somewhere, after all. He couldn't let anything happen to her or Sora just because he was too lazy to walk somewhere.

This was different. He'd expected to leave the world with Sora and the others, maybe return to where they were training with Yen Sid or something. But that... wasn't what happened. The darkness was stifling, the air musty and strange. He didn't like it. He pulled his coat closer, then caught a glimpse of the platform beneath him. Sora floated there, sleeping, wearing the clothes he'd gained in the sleeping worlds. Surrounding him were portraits of his friends, and then some that Roxas didn't recognize. There was Xion, too.

The Station of Serenity. He remembered this place. He thought it had been an illusion, part of the digital recreation of Twilight Town meant to imprison him and 'prepare' him for his reunion with Sora. Just as before, three pillars of light appeared over the stained-glass platform.

"Am I dreaming again?" he wondered aloud, his soft voice spinning into the darkness. There came no answer, as expected. He approached the first pillar. He expected a sword-- like last time-- but instead, he found a stick. He squinted at it. "That's a stick."

Is strength important?

Roxas jerked his head up, hearing that voice. It was low and familiar, full-bodied and a little disconcerting. He thought of all the strength he and Sora had, and how helpless they were in the face of the Initiative and the United Earth. He paused, held his breath for a second, and then let it out. "Not really." He moved on.

A ball of light waited for him in the second pillar. He thought it was strange to see light within light, but it seemed more like a self-contained Fire spell the longer he looked at it.

Is knowledge important?

He thought about how he didn't know anything. Maybe if they'd known more about Exsilium, they could have stopped some of the awful things that had happened. They could have even saved Xion. His hands curled at his sides as he thought about the choice ahead of him. He didn't know anything when it came down to it. He was even more clueless than Sora, stumbling blindly through the new life he'd been given and hoping he figured something out along the way.

He wanted to know everything. He wanted to know how to save Xion, how to help Sora. How to continue to exist. Could he? He didn't know, but he had some kind of faith in his other, and in Sora's friends.

He believed in Lea, too.

"Yes." He reached out and took the orb. It felt warm in his hands, comforting.

What will you sacrifice for knowledge?

There went that voice again. Roxas scratched the back of his neck and looked between the two remaining pillars. There was that stick again, and also a coat... Not unlike the one he was wearing. Well, that was different. He approached the pillar with the stick again.

Will you sacrifice your strength?

He still didn't get the stick thing, but he felt a little bit like he was being made fun of. He turned to the other pillar.

Will you sacrifice your protection?

That was less important, he decided. If Sora needed help, Roxas would help him. And if Roxas needed help, he could depend on Lea. If anything had been made clear in the past near-year he'd lived in Exsilium, it was that Lea had an incredible sense of timing.

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

The platform beneath him began to quake. He dropped to his knees, watched the cracks spread across the stained glass in shock. Not this again! If some giant monster popped out, he was going to have a hell of a time without any real weapons. He reached for his Keyblade, hoping that maybe it would prevent things from getting worse... but nothing came.

A chasm opened beneath Roxas. He wondered if it was too late to change his choices. Though his feet and hands clawed for purchase, he found none, and the darkness swallowed him shortly. He called for Sora and Lea, and then Xion, and then he couldn't call for anyone at all.

SPECIAL ABILITIES:
Roxas will choose the staff and discard the shield, making him an Artificer. He still has his Organization coat, but that will have to sustain him, so if he loses it he's right out.

Physically, Roxas is not an extremely tall boy. He's got some muscles but nothing that would make it easy for him to take down a grown man. Still, he's very determined, and he will purposely tire himself out to the point of exhaustion if necessary. As he will not be discarding the sword, he'll keep his stamina and such. In Days, his stats were fairly balanced, but it's worth noting that post-Xion he can do stunts like run up the sides of buildings, throw keyblades with excellent precision, and beat the snot out of Riku (who Xion couldn't even beat). So yeah, he's pretty strong, though not invincible-- and his magic will be stronger due to his awakening choices.

Roxas can summon the Keyblade and usually does for his main weapon. He's granted this ability by virtue of being Sora's Nobody. He can also dual wield keyblades, though he only activates this ability after Xion dies. (I believe this is because he had Ven's heart, and could use his keyblade as well.) The Keyblade itself is a pretty godmode weapon. In its default form, it looks unimpressive, but it serves as a beacon to Heartless. He can use it to lock up the heart of a world, if he wanted to, though its main use to him is to return stolen hearts to Kingdom Hearts. It's also able to open pretty much any door or lock because it's a magical goddamn key. Equipping special mementos to it as keychains, or Gears, augments how the Keyblade manifests and its stats.

Like the other Organization members, Roxas represented an element: light. Though he didn't have his own line of magic, Sora and Ven both had access to Holy magic in their times. Roxas calls upon his element to make things explode in pillars of light and lasers and explosions and stuff. It's pretty insane, and speaks much of his angry core. In Days, he is able to use elemental and restorative magic like anyone else, though he starts off KH2 without anything but Reversal-- a move that allows him to slip behind an opponent for an attack.

In Exsilium, Roxas' weapon was his Light magic. Though he learned how to make shields in addition to summoning pillars of light, his control was still quite lacking, so he'll have to start over in Penrose. In theory, he should be able to replicate his limit breaks and such with fusion spells.

I should note that Roxas' existence is still a bit of a weird thing. While the Initiative gave him his own body separate from Sora, he is still weakened by being away from him. Sora was more prone to turning into Anti-Form while accessing Drive, and Roxas was just weaker in general, like at about half strength. Being near his Somebody generally alleviated these weak feelings.

He gets headaches if he thinks too hard about Xion.

Also, he can ride a skateboard pretty well.

INVENTORY:
His keyblade is summonable. He'll be coming in with his clothes (a black hoodie, his Organization coat, and jeans). He has a backpack containing a white skateboard, white earmuffs, a checkered scarf, and a bound journal. He will not be keeping any keychains, because I'd like to start over with that, if it's okay? I was thinking that significant CR could help form new keychains for Roxas while he's in Saudade.

If you'd rather he lost his coat, that's fine too. He had it on him in Exsilium which is why I'm including it here.

NOTES/ASPIRATIONS
IT'S AN ACTIVITY CHECK! Look, I'm not on there. At all. Sweet deal.

I'm apping this version of Roxas, despite his lack of cross-canon CR, because of the very important development he had with his castmates. Sora and Xion aren't in this game and it doesn't have the same pressures as a war game, so his development from canon would've been a lot different.

Also because Lea and Riku are CRAUs from the same place and it just makes sense.

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